"I am sorry, mum.."

Am i a bad son? Bad tempered? Too rebellious? Wrong tone all the time?

Or just that my mum couldn't understand my words.. My expression.. Misunderstanding whatever I was trying to say..

I've been trying so hard to be a good child.. I hope you really know that.. Feel that.. That moment.. When tears were flooding your eyes.. Hitting me with disappointment.. Arms and face.. I didn't even evade any of them.. Because I am really sorry for raising my voice.. My tone.. But i really don't mean it..

Like my previous posts.. I've been saying.. You don't understand me.. You think that just because you are mother.. And we as children, have no right to speak out.. Everytime I voice out.. You will definitely think that I'm against you.. You said that my facial expression was like a sword piercing through your heart.. But.. I really don't remember me trying to make any impacts with my facial expression.. Sorry if I really expressed myself wrongly..

This is the first time.. I was there.. Letting you hit me how hard you want.. Because i know.. I am sorry..

I'm deeply disappointed with myself.. Hate myself..